A Sort of Halloween Story

We had next door neighbors, two women, who had a side business involving estate auctions and antique sales. All sorts of stuff was always being moved in and out of their garage...chairs, sofas, antiques of all sorts, knick knacks, bric-a'-brack, paddy whack, and give a dog a bone. Jackie and Betty were real characters.

A first Saturday in May Betty calls me.

"Barry, look out on our back patio, do you see that woman?"

"Yes"

"She just walked up and sat down and she won't say anything to us, she acts like she on drugs or something. Can you walk over and try and talk to her?"

The seated woman had her back to me with an arm leaning against on patio table. She was wearing a black dress and had a black wide brim hat on her head. I thought since it was Derby Day she may have wandered over drunk from another party. Wait a minute, black on Derby Day? nah. All sorts of scenarios were running through my gullible head.

As I got closer I said "Ma'am...Ma'am? she remained stock still. Then I saw it was a mannequin and looked up to see Jackie and Betty at the back window laughing.

Good one.

Crown Mold

We recently had crown molding installed in a couple of rooms. I can do alot of things involving carpentry, but crown molding is beyond me. I've installed chair rail, shoe mold, and base board but crown molding I don't get. It would seem to be straight forward but there's much more to it than meets the eye. You have to think inside out and it's difficult to visualize the inside or outside corners when you're out making cuts with the miter saw. 

We had a friend who lives across the circle install it. He's been a finish carpenter all his life. He said that when someone tells him they're going to install crown themselves, he always replies, "Can I watch?"

Burn It Down

There's a severe drought here in Louisville and most of Kentucky. Everything is brown and lifeless and doesn't look like it's going to be a very colorful fall.

Los Lobos  'Burn It Down'   2010

Radio Flyer Car

 

I Was a Teenage Punk

I was in a car with five guys, most of whom I didn't know very well. We had one more guy to pick up who had to sneak out of the house and into the waiting car down the street. His strict father was picky about who his son hung out with. We were going to the State Fair, or so we thought.

We stopped for gas and strict father pulls up behind us and commands his son to get out of the car. He walks up to the front passenger side window and asks for my name.

"Why do you want to know?"

WHAMMO! strict father hits me in the face with his fist. My nose gushes blood. Strict father goes to his car and pulls out a miniature Louisville Slugger baseball bat. Everyone is yelling at the driver to start the car, he's coming back with a bat!

The car finally starts and we pull away in time. I'm still dazed from the punch in the nose. I look up and there's a spray of blood on the inside windshield and all over my shirt. I look at the other guys in the car and they're all wide eyed and white as ghosts. I thought I must look pretty bad.

We stop at the driver's home, I clean the blood of my face and we ditch the idea of going to the fair. I come home with a bloody shirt and a fat lip. I told the story to my father. He calls strict father and he comes to our house and offers apologies and tells him that he has anger issues and problems with his son. As I recall he may have been a minister...probably Baptist.