December 30, 2010

Eez Inger Ed Ookies Are Ood

Sometimes I think about backpacks. Let's see, the newspaper in my left hand, coke in the other. I spy the tin of homemade ginger bread cookies a client gave my wife for Christmas. I put down the newspaper and coke, take the tin top off and get a cookie. I tuck the newspaper under my left arm to hold the cookie in my left hand and grab the class of coke with my right.

I hear my wife downstairs. "Barry, can you bring down the can of chex mix please?"

I put down the newspaper, cookie, coke and take the can of chex mix out of the pantry. I cradle the chex mix between my right arm and chest so I can hold the glass of coke. The newspaper, tucked in my left armpit, cookie in left hand.

"Honey, can you fix me a coke too?" (In most southern stated this translates to filling a glass with ice and pouring in any kind of soft drink, including coke products.)

I put down newspaper, cookie, chex mix, and my coke. Fixed wife a coke. Cradle chex mix on right side, wife's coke in right hand, tucked newspaper in left arm pit, and my coke in left hand. The ginger bread cookie delicately held between my teeth. 

I stepped downstairs, Wallenda-like, without spilling a drop.  

December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas

Robert Earl Keen  'Merry Christmas from the Family'

December 23, 2010


Who Are Those Geezers?

The Rolling Stones have been around since 1962. In 2005 they released their 27th studio album called 'A Bigger Bang'. I think it's the best they've sounded for a long time. They have returned to their roots...straight ahead rock and roll.

The Rolling Stones 'Rough Justice' 2005.

December 22, 2010

New Round

Remember singing 'rounds' in grade school...Row, row, row your boat? I was listening to Beck in my truck the other day and the song 'New Round' came on. I never really paid much attention to this song but it struck me how the song got it's name. It has become one of my favorite songs by Beck.

Beck  'New Round'  2006.

New Round

When the oceans are dark
The heavens are foreboding
A chain link wind
Is breaking you open

And lessons of the day
On a blackboard night
It seem to be erased
And the beacon has a light

The eyes of confusion
Looking for a string
Everything they need
To keep the dogs at bay

There's no escape hatch
No submarine
Could take you to the moon
rake you in the leaves

And keep you just the same
All in my arms
Some day, some day
Say bye bye bye bye

Bye, bye, bye

I'm smaller than a stone
Bigger than a road
Farther than an ocean
Closer than a soul

Every little word
And every little step
Every new direction
Closer you would get

The farther away
You go from where we went
I'll try to keep with you
Hold you like a star

Found the frozen bank
To a hollow tune
Pushes up beyond
And all they come from home

When you bring them down
All they fall aside
On the radios
Don't forget it's yours

Bye, bye, bye

Dinner time, yeah.

December 14, 2010

We're Floored

We added on to the front of our house back in 1992. I cannot believe it's been that long ago. Today we had the eighteen year old carpet ripped out and a new hardwood floor installed. Australian Cypress. Looks good.

All that's left is baseboard and shoe mold and we're good to go.

Birth of Venus

There is a new female Correctional Officer at work and the first time I saw her she reminded me of someone or something. It was her face.

I figured it out the other day; she's Venus in Botticelli's 'Birth of Venus' painted in 1485.


December 1, 2010

Cauliflower Brain

On my way to roll call the Captain stops me outside his office. "McClain, you're going to BHNE to relieve Ramsey." I do an about face and walk to the parking lot and arrive at the hospital fifteen minutes later. It's going to be an easy, but boring day.

Ramsey hands over the restraint keys, cell phone, and weapon. He's anxious to get home. The inmate is sleeping as far as I can tell, with the sheet over his head. He occasionally stirs.

Besides keeping an eye on the inmate, there nothing to do but watch TV. There's a cops & robbers rerun, then a little food channel. What's his name was stuffing hens with a cranberry dressing mixture. For drinks he made a champaign cur royale with craneberry juice. I'm not sure I would like it. Too foo-foo.

A CT tech comes to take the inmate to get a head scan. I wheel chair him behind the tech, who is wheeling the IV stand. They move and adjust his head inside the donut hole. The image appears on the screen and as the tech moves the mouse an invisible plane moves down through his brain like a time lapse of a blooming cauliflower.

November 29, 2010

These Are The Days

I was watching James Taylor and Carole King performing live at the Troubador on PBS. It sounds every bit as good as it used to.

Carole King's first big hit; 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow'

November 26, 2010

Black Friday

Black Friday is the day following Thanksgiving Day in the United States, traditionally the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. Depending on the source, the term dates either from the 1980s or back as 1966, although its usage was primarily on the East coast. The term has become more common in other parts of the country since 2000. On this day many U.S. retailers open very early, with most of the retailers typically opening at 5AM or even earlier, at midnight.

The day's roots may have originated in Philadelphia, where it was used to describe the heavy and disruptive pedestrian and vehicle traffic which would occur on the day after Thanksgiving. Others claim it was part of mid-1980s anti-consumerism backlash, when people took a pledge to "blackout" that day - staying home, rather than shopping.

I'd rather be drawn and quartered than to go anywhere near a mall on this day.

Steely Dan  'Black Friday'  1975

November 24, 2010

Messin With The Camera

Has it really been that long ago?


Ready for the big day.

November 23, 2010

Law and Order

Ben is no longer an officer but was promoted to detective and was on TV a week ago.

November 18, 2010

A Day in The Life

'A Day in The Life'  is one of the Beatles most famous and influential songs.

the song comprises distinct segments written independently by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, with orchestral additions added later. While Lennon’s lyrics were inspired by contemporary newspaper articles, McCartney’s were reminiscent of his youth.

George Martin, the Beatles' producer, later described explaining his improvised score to the puzzled orchestra:

"What I did there was to write ... the lowest possible note for each of the instruments in the orchestra. At the end of the twenty-four bars, I wrote the highest note...near a chord of E major. Then I put a squiggly line right through the twenty-four bars, with reference points to tell them roughly what note they should have reached during each bar ... Of course, they all looked at me as though I were completely mad."

McCartney had originally wanted a 90-piece orchestra, but this proved impossible; the difference was made up, as the semi-improvised segment was recorded multiple times and eventually four different recordings were overdubbed into a single massive crescendo. The results were successful; in the final edit of the song, the orchestral bridge is reprised after the final verse.

Following the final orchestral crescendo, the song ends with one of the most famous final chords in music history. Lennon, McCartney, Starr, and Evans shared three different pianos, with Martin on the Harmonium, and all played an E-major chord simultaneously. The final chord was made to ring out for over forty seconds by increasing the recording sound level as the vibration faded out. Towards the end of the chord the recording level was so high that listeners can hear the sounds of the studio, including rustling papers and a squeaking chair.

'A Day in The Life'  The Beatles  1967.

November 12, 2010

Ooooooooh Scary

Hailee as Eighty's Girl and Tristan as Dash Incredible. Tristan's mask looks upside down but we turned it over and that looked upside down too.

Death Grip

I was pulling the dead zinnias out of the ground. They'd served the previous season's purpose, giving summer color in our house. I'm surprised at the death grip strength of the roots as I pull. I can't help but feel a slight sorrow for the zinnias and the passed Summer. Do plants have a slight consciousness? Do the trees around me mourn at their dormancy?

Not to worry; next Spring comfort will come in seed packets and the trees will wake to watch the planting and watering in of their next of kin.


November 4, 2010

The Theremin

The Theremin is an early electronic musical instrument controlled without contact from the player. It is named after its Russian inventor, Professor Léon Theremin, who patented the device in 1928.

Theremin demonstrated the device to Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin. Lenin was so impressed he began taking lessons in playing it.

The theremin is associated with a very eerie sound, which has led to its use in movie soundtracks such as Spellbound, one of my favorite films.

November 2, 2010

Roto Rooter

On the way home from work yesterday I was behind a Roto Rooter truck most of the way and this morning on the way to the hospital wife and I saw another. When I made the appointment for my colonoscopy I didn't think about it being on election day. I suppose there's a certain irony about that.

The evening before I drank three liters of that goop which cleans you out and early this morning I drank the final liter. I was miserable. Five years ago I took the horse pills but they have since discovered a threat of renal failure with the pills. I'd almost take my chances with the pills.

They wheeled me into the procedure room and put the twilight cocktail through the IV. The doctor looked like Rand Paul behind the mask and the nurse became Sarah Palin. I went kicking and screaming into unconsciousness.

October 28, 2010

A Sort of Halloween Story

We had next door neighbors, two women, who had a side business involving estate auctions and antique sales. All sorts of stuff was always being moved in and out of their garage...chairs, sofas, antiques of all sorts, knick knacks, bric-a'-brack, paddy whack, and give a dog a bone. Jackie and Betty were real characters.

A first Saturday in May Betty calls me.

"Barry, look out on our back patio, do you see that woman?"
"She just walked up and sat down and she won't say anything to us, she acts like she on drugs or something. Can you walk over and try and talk to her?"

The seated woman had her back to me with an arm leaning against on patio table. She was wearing a black dress and had a black wide brim hat on her head. I thought since it was Derby Day she may have wandered over drunk from another party. Wait a minute, black on Derby Day? nah. All sorts of scenarios were running through my gullible head.

As I got closer I said "Ma'am...Ma'am? she remained stock still. Then I saw it was a mannequin and looked up to see Jackie and Betty at the back window laughing.

Good one.

Crown Mold

We recently had crown molding installed in a couple of rooms. I can do alot of things involving carpentry, but crown molding is beyond me. I've installed chair rail, shoe mold, and base board but crown molding I don't get. It would seem to be straight forward but there's much more to it than meets the eye. You have to think inside out and it's difficult to visualize the inside or outside corners when you're out making cuts with the miter saw. 

We had a friend who lives across the circle install it. He's been a finish carpenter all his life. He said that when someone tells him they're going to install crown themselves, he always replies, "Can I watch?"

October 13, 2010

Burn It Down

There's a severe drought here in Louisville and most of Kentucky. Everything is brown and lifeless and doesn't look like it's going to be a very colorful fall.

Los Lobos  'Burn It Down'   2010

October 6, 2010

I Was a Teenage Punk

I was in a car with five guys, most of whom I didn't know very well. We had one more guy to pick up who had to sneak out of the house and into the waiting car down the street. His strict father was picky about who his son hung out with. We were going to the State Fair, or so we thought.

We stopped for gas and strict father pulls up behind us and commands his son to get out of the car. He walks up to the front passenger side window and asks for my name.

"Why do you want to know?"

WHAMMO! strict father hits me in the face with his fist. My nose gushes blood. Strict father goes to his car and pulls out a miniature Louisville Slugger baseball bat. Everyone is yelling at the driver to start the car, he's coming back with a bat!

The car finally starts and we pull away in time. I'm still dazed from the punch in the nose. I look up and there's a spray of blood on the inside windshield and all over my shirt. I look at the other guys in the car and they're all wide eyed and white as ghosts. I thought I must look pretty bad.

We stop at the driver's home, I clean the blood of my face and we ditch the idea of going to the fair. I come home with a bloody shirt and a fat lip. I told the story to my father. He calls strict father and he comes to our house and offers apologies and tells him that he has anger issues and problems with his son. As I recall he may have been a minister...probably Baptist.

September 27, 2010

Ghost Of Love

I was reading about David Lynch one night as well as listening to the sound track of his movie "Inland Empire" one night. The next morning I heard the same song on WFPK so I had to post it. It seemed like I had to.

"Ghost Of Love" from the David Lynch film "Inland Empire" 2006.

September 16, 2010

Comfortably Numb

There is a Pink Floyd song which they play on the radio to this day. That song is  'Comfortably Numb' which has the most noted and famous guitar solo of all time played by David Gilmour, who was co-writer of the song with Roger Waters.

According to Rolling Stone, Roger Waters was injected with tranquillisers for stomach cramps by a doctor prior to playing a Pink Floyd show in Philadelphia on the band's 1977 In The Flesh' tour. "That was the longest two hours of my life", Waters said. "Trying to do a show when you can hardly lift your arm". The experience gave him the idea which eventually became the lyrics to this song.

Although much of Pink Floyd's music was good for its time in the 60's and 70's, 'Comfortably Numb' stands the test of time and is a classic.

Pink Floyd  'Comfortably Numb'  1979.

September 5, 2010

Coconut Cream Pie

Tonight we went out to eat with friends, then came back to our house to eat desert. A beautiful relaxing evening. Wife makes a mean pie too.

September 2, 2010

Chris Whitley

Chris Whitley 'Weightless' 1996.

September 1, 2010


We were browsing the wares at Williams Sonoma. Wife has been wanting to buy new pots and pans, specifically the pricey five ply all clad pots and pans. I don't blame her for wanting the best. She loves to cook and she's good at it, so...what the hell.

This five ply all clad stuff is supposed to heat up faster and, so the saleswoman said you'll almost never have to turn the burners above medium flame. I can't wait to fry myself some gourmet bologna sandwiches...I'm sure they'll be magnifique.

Last week we celebrated a birthday and wife baked a rasberry chocolate cake. It fell apart as she was pouring the ganache on the three layers. It didn't look so good but was heaven to eat. I called it Firing Range Cake and wife gave me the stink eye.

August 31, 2010


It has been a long hot Summer here in Louisville, so hot it has broken the record for the hottest Louisville's ever been. Day after day after day it's been in the 90's since June. I've never wished so much for Fall. The rest of the week and Labor Day weekend is predicted to be in the 90's.

I curse the Summer of 2010.

August 26, 2010

Another One From Boz

Boz Scaggs  'I Just Go'  2001.

How Do You Stop?

Joni Mitchell 'How Do You Stop?' 1994.

August 25, 2010

Close And Far Away Memories

Walking out last night to my truck to make a store run I saw someone who I haven't seen in maybe seven years when her mother had passed away. She had come to her father's home, where she grew up to visit. She was packing to go back to her Junior year in college up north.

It was so good to see her. I remember when she was eight or nine, running over to watch me work around the house asking a million questions. She's changed in appearance so much but her voice is the same. I can see her mother peeking out from her eyes. How can time pass so quickly?

August 21, 2010

Zinnias are Last

Last Tuesday I pulled a double shift and spent the entire time at the emergency room in downtown Louisville. Seems an inmate had an emergency medical condition and I was the lucky one to transport him there.

Across the nurses station was an elderly woman with red hair and a man with his back to me came to see her. I don't know why but I thought of Harold Tabor when I saw him. I never got to see his face but I remember his mother had red hair.

In a room with a LMPD officer at the door, it's drunk occupant yelled "CAN I GET A GODDAMN CUP OF FUCKING ICE WATER?" You get to see the worse in people at places like these.

We went to eat the best pizza in Louisville tonight. The whole fam damnily was there. I had three Blue Moons and wife had to drive home. Long live Impellizzeri's Pizza.

We've got quite a few zinnia flower arrangements around the house and tommorrow's the last day of the pool. I'm off work tomorrow. The crickets are chirping, it has turned a shade cooler, the sun has that slight lower slant, and everything is right, at least for now, in the world.

August 16, 2010

Jason Isbell

Jason Isbell 'Seven Mile Island' 2009.

August 13, 2010

A Little Boz

Once you're outside...the first doesn't seem that bad. After five steps someone put a heavy winter coat on your shoulders and you feel like there's a mask on your face suffocating you.

The record hot summer here in Louisville, and most everywhere else. We're all getting very tired of it. This song kind of goes with the heat hand in hand.

Boz Scaggs 'King of El Paso' 2001.

King of El Paso

King of El Paso

About a million stars in that desert sky
So high and lonesome it can make you want to cry
Or drive your young blood wild

And a burning glow above that northern ridge
Three day ride will get you straight down to old Juarez
A fool's El Dorado

He got a taste for Mescal and sweet perfume
Didn't take long to get him in the back room

All of sixteen and first taste of the border

There's a pile of bones out on the desert floor
All that's left of el Conquistador.. the conqueror

Well I rode that beast down into the ground
Through every draw and every border town
That devil carried me

You watch a few go down to the fire or the rope
You leave little to chance and nothing to hope

An old 24 and nothing could hold me down

(Ain't gonna ride no more)

Ain't gonna ride no more

Well you cross it once you're gonna cross it again
Something keeps you coming back to that shadowland

And so I did for the mysteries

To hear that old soul stirrer slamming through the night
Tombstone train cuts its own daylight

Ain't gonna ride no more

Though my leathers worn and my cuffs in tatters
My hearts on straight and that's all that matters
If I lose a few moves it aint no loss
Cause there's only one border left for me to cross

(Ain't gonna ride no more)

I'll take my sweet time on that one

Aint gonna ride no more

(Ain't gonna ride no more)

Oh I aint gonna ride no more

They call me King Of El Paso and my advice
Learn that road between here and paradise

(Ain't gonna ride no more)

Ain't gonna ride no more

(Ain't gonna ride no more)

August 12, 2010

Synthetic Pop

Passion Pit is an American Second Wave synthpop band from Cambridge, Massachusetts. Formed in 2007, the group consists of Michael Angelakos of Buffalo (lead vocals/keyboards), Ian Hultquist (keyboards/guitar), Ayad Al Adhamy (synth/samples), Jeff Apruzzese (bass/synth bass) and Nate Donmoyer (drums). All of the band members, except Angelakos, attended Berklee College of Music.

Passion Pit 'Sleepyhead' 2008.

Pop Goes The Harold

The phone rang last night and it was Ben with a story to tell. He was out on beat patrol in beautiful Portland earlier in the afternoon when a man pulling a lawn mower on a trailer tells Ben there might be a dead man lying face down in a backyard off 42nd Street.

Ben drives to the address and, sure enough, there's a man lying face down against a backyard fence wearing shorts and a tee shirt. Ben said he could tell by the skin showing he wasn't dead. Ben pokes him with his Maglite, "Party's over bud, time to move on." The man, reeking of body odor and alcohol, staggers to his feet.

It takes Ben a shocked second to realize it's none other than the terrorist from my childhood, Harold Tabor. He's living back in Portland, Louisville.

Flashback 45 years:

My brother and I are running around with Harold who has a screwdriver tip embedded in the end of a broken off broom stick. Harold and I have climbed atop an old spring house off Old Westport Road near our neighborhood. Brad has his hands on the edge of the roof, still trying to get up top.

Harold takes his homemade spear and starts stabbing the roof between Brad's fingers. Brad is hanging there, unable to let go, his eyes wide pleading with Harold to stop. Harold keeps stabbing and laughing. He was having a good ol' time.

August 9, 2010

Blue Motel Room

Heard on the radio on the way to work early last Sunday morning. How come old songs sound so good when you least expect to hear them?

Joni Mitchell 'Blue Motel Room' 1976.

August 5, 2010

Van Gogh Van

I was leaving the mall today and parked near me was this.

Sounds Good To Me

Black Cow:
2 oz Kahlua coffee liqueur
2 oz half-and-half
3 oz Coca-Cola

Steely Dan 'Black Cow' 1977

Black Cow

In the corner
Of my eye
I saw you in Rudy's
You were very high
You were high
It was a cryin' disgrace
They saw your face

On the counter
By your keys
Was a book of numbers
And your remedies
One of these
Surely will screen out the sorrow
But where are you tomorrow

I can't cry anymore
While you run around
Break away
Just when it
Seems so clear
That it's
Over now
Drink your big black cow
And get out of here

Down to Greene Street
There you go
Lookin' so outrageous
And they tell you so
You should know
How all the pros play the game
You change your name

Like a gangster
On the run
You will stagger homeward
To your precious one
I'm the one
Who must make everything right
Talk it out till daylight

I don't care anymore
Why you run around
Break away
Just when it
Seems so clear
That it's
Over now
Drink your big black cow
And get out of here

August 4, 2010

100 In The Shade

We've had a very warm Summer. It's rare that it doesn't ramp up over ninety degrees most days. The local TV news rolls out it's annual warnings on how not to die when it's hot out.

Awhile back they said "drink plenty of water" then came "drink plenty of fluids." Nowadays it's "stay hydrated and don't leave babies in a hot car."

I went to the hydration recreational unit this morning, packed my thermal control box with hydrate cubes, and threw in a couple of soda hydration aluminum cylinders.

At about 1100 hours I bi-pedaled out to my internal combustion machine. the heat hit me in the cabeza like a open handed strike to my mandible area. Before I got out of my truck at the pool I scanned the extended cab for babies.

It's 101 degrees now. We're sick of this stuff and looking forward to October.

July 29, 2010

For No One

Emmylou Harris performed a cover last night honoring Paul McCartney last night on Public Television. This isn't the actual performance of that night but I found it on Youtube. Beautiful song and beautiful cover.

Emmylou Harris 'For No One'.

July 28, 2010

The Courier~Journal

I just watched Sir Paul perform in the East Room of the White House after receiving the Gershwin Award for Popular Music. He sang Let It Be. Anytime I hear that song it reminds me of delivering newspapers. It seemed everytime my clock radio came on at five in the morning Let It Be would be playing.

The Beatles 'Let It Be' 1969.

July 27, 2010

Laurie Anderson

Laurie Anderson is a performance artist who I liked back in the eighties. I was reminded of her today when WFPK played a Laurie Anderson song.

From Wikipedia:
Laura Phillips "Laurie" Anderson (born June 5, 1947) is an American experimental performance artist and musician who plays violin and keyboards and sings in a variety of experimental music and art rock styles. Initially trained as a sculptor, Anderson did her first performance-art piece in the late 1960s. Throughout the 1970s, Anderson did a variety of different performance-art activities. She became widely known outside the art world in 1981 when her single "O Superman" reached number two on the UK pop charts. She also starred in and directed the 1986 concert film Home of the Brave.

Anderson has invented several devices that she has used in her recordings and performance art shows. In 1977, she created a tape-bow violin that uses recorded magnetic tape on the bow instead of horsehair and a magnetic tape head in the bridge. In the late 1990s, she developed a talking stick, a six-foot-long batonlike MIDI controller that can access and replicate different sounds.

On April 12, 2008, Anderson married longtime companion Lou Reed in a private ceremony in Boulder, Colorado.

Laurie Anderson 'Walking And Falling' 1981.

July 24, 2010

Creep, Crawl, Leap

Walking up the dark driveway and the English Ivy which lines it brushed against my leg. I thought something had me. We have a lot of the stuff and it takes some trimming in the summer months to keep it under control.

There's a saying that in the first year after planting English Ivy it creeps, the second year it crawls, and in the third year it leaps. The fourth year you awaken one morning and it will have you in a Full Nelson.

July 22, 2010


When my wife decides to do something for somebody, especially bake, she goes all out. We returned from the gym about 8:30.

"Barry, you need to pick up a few things for me at Kroger for that cake I'm making for so and so's birthday tomorrow."

She gave me a list:
Peach preserves
Unflavored gelatin
Lady fingers
Peach schnapps
Six peaches
Whipping cream
A Partridge in a pear tree (kidding)

It took me awhile to find all this stuff and didn't get back until 9:30. She'll won't be finished with the thing until 11:00, guarantee. There's a reason they call her Martha at her workplace.

July 21, 2010


Last Sunday night wife went to her high school class reunion where they reminisced the evening away; the horses they used to ride to school, that sort of thing. I opened up an email a classmate sent her and attached were a bunch of picures.

In one there's wife hanging all over this guy. Who is this guy?

July 18, 2010

Forecastle Festival

The eighth Forecastle Music Festival was just held on Louisville's waterfront. It has grown to become a nationally known event. The Flaming Lips were the last band to perform on July 11th.

The Flaming Lips 'Are You A Hypnotist' 2002.

July 15, 2010

I Married A Sheet Nazi

My wife becomes a completely different personality when making up a bed. On those occasions when I'm around to help her do this chore, I've become accustomed to the military precision she follows. She expects nothing less than complete synchronization of me when I help. It's like a spell comes over her.

When we first married and I helped the first time, I suspected she was abused as a child when making up the bed which caused her to develop a dual personality to deal with the trauma.

I really have to be on my toes when we're putting clean sheets on the bed. It reminds me somehow of the flying Wallendas. We're on either side of the bed and when she tugs on her end, I must tug on my end at THE EXACT same moment. HUT! The corners must be military folded and sheet and or blanket must be the EXACT same length on either side of the bed. HUT!

One of these days I'll be able to help without a net.


This coming Tuesday I'll be fifty-five years of age. How did this happen?

Kinda depressing.


I was staring out onto the yard at the darkened wet concrete and out towards the basketball court and the picnic tables surrounding it. They would be called out at any minute now.

The hard rain this morning was a relief, the low dark clouds blotting out the intense July sun. Now the rain was light and looking at the puddles being dotted I went back to my childhood, before I knew anything about bad choices, consequences, and the evils of the world. I miss those days of summer when we would play out in the pouring rain with not a care in the world.

Soon the sun came out turning the yard into an instant steam bath. The men came out for their one hour of recreation time. There was one with his back to the end of a picnic table, his hands gripping the top, his shoulders pumping up and down.

"Put down the picnic table, they aren't there for your deltoids."
"What else are we going to do with them?"
"Have a picnic."

The Beatles 'Rain'

Gobbling Ibuprofen

The evening before my "weekend" wife and I went to the gym and apparently I over did it on the weights. My left shoulder hurt like hell the next morning and today the pain was much worse. Tendonitis strikes again.

I hope it feels better by the time work rolls around tomorrow morning. My range of motion is practically nill.

July 11, 2010


When I'm in the pool and aimlessly walking around looking at my distorted underwater feet, I sing to myself, everytime, without thinking about it, an old Police tune.

The Police 'Walking On The Moon' 1979.

July 8, 2010

Steely Dan Time

A tune for the times
Steely Dan 'Everything Must Go' 2003

It's high time for a walk on the real side
Let's admit the bastards beat us
I move to dissolve the corporation
In a pool of margaritas
So let's switch off all the lights
Light up all the Luckies
Crankin' up the afterglow
Cause we're goin' out of business
Everything must go

Talk about your major pain and suffering
Now our self-esteem is shattered
Show the world a mighty hidey-ho face
As we go sliding down the ladder

It was sweet up at the top
'Til that ill wind started blowing
Now it's cozy down below
'Cause we're goin' out of business
Everything must go

We gave it our best shot
But keep in mind we got a lot
The sky, the moon, good food and the weather
First-run movies—does anybody get lucky twice?
Wouldn't it be nice…

Tell me can you dig it Miss Fugazy
Now it's gone from late to later
Frankly I could use a little face time
In the service elevator
And if Dave from Acquisitions
Wants to get in on the action
With his Handicam in tow
Well we're goin' out of business
Everything must go

Can it be the sorry sun is rising
Guess it's time for us to book it
Talk about the famous road not taken
In the end we never took it
And if somewhere on the way
We got a few good licks in
No one's ever gonna know
'Cause we're goin' out of business
Everything must go

July 6, 2010


I forgive the nitwit who pulled out in front of me today causing considerable wear on my brakes, which I had recently changed out.

I forgive people with different political or religious views than mine; It seems lately both can be interchanged, a dangerous trend.

I forgive people with political agendas which solely satisfy their own personal needs.

I forgive British Petroleum. I use the stuff.

I forgive my wife and myself for all the petty stuff we may argue about, real or imagined.

I forgive the makers of our dishwasher, which just went kaput after seven short years. I tried to fix it myself. (another dangerous trend)

I forgive companies who I suspect of age discrimination regarding hiring practices.

I forgive chauvinists, both male and female.

I forgive creationists who believe the earth is only 6000 years old.

I forgive people who forward me endless emails regarding the politics I should embrace, less I should be viewed as unpatriotic.

I forgive The Ugly American.

July 1, 2010

Old Profile Pic

I had this photo of a boy smoking a hand rolled cigarette as my profile picture and it occurred to me one day that it looked like a child smoking pot and I changed it.

As I recall the photo was taken in a small town in the Appalachian Mountains of Eastern Kentucky. Here is the photo uncropped.


The other evening I was pouring a Coke and in the bottom of the sink was a live Cicada..a big one. I reached to get it out but thought wife would be in the kitchen soon and so I left it there. How it got in the kitchen sink, I haven't a clue.

While on the porch reading the paper I heard wife shuffle into the kitchen. I started the countdown 5..4..3..2..1. We have lift-off.


There was wife frozen in place, eye's wide, pointing at the kitchen sink. I retrieved the critter. I feinted a move. "Don't get close to me dammit, I'll bash your head in."

We've gone through this ritual countless times since we've been married. A little spider becomes a foot wide, a small cricket becomes an alien from another planet.

June 29, 2010


Hydrangeas Out The Yin Yang

The Summer after the ice storm, we had zero Hydrangea blooms out of all plants we have in our garden. This year we have a bumper crop. It looks like a funeral home around here.