The Finaglers

Finagle Pronunciation: \fə-ˈnā-gəl\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): fi·na·gled; fi·na·gling \-g(ə-)liŋ\
Etymology: perhaps alteration of fainaigue to renege
Date: circa 1924
transitive verb
1 : to obtain by indirect or involved means

We're a family of finaglers and if you're a person inclined to prefer form over function and a buyer of antiques, you're probably a finagler too. The most recent finagling example was the saga of an antique bed we purchased for my daughter about a year ago.

It was a rope bed which used a long rope weaved in and out of the head board and foot board of the bed and when finagled to together, the rope supports a mattress and box springs. At first glance it would seem pretty straight forward....Wrongo!

Son-in-law and I went to Lowe's and bought rope and finagled between the head and foot boards. Then involved alot of pulling, tugging, knot tying, and gnashing of teeth.

We stood back and admired our handiwork and then my wife said something ominous.
"That looks a little smaller than a double bed. I hope the mattress fits."
I knew as soon as she said it, it wouldn't.

Back when Daniel Boone, or whoever made this bed, beds sizes were a haphazard size and when we finagled the new mattress and box springs from the garage, up the steps, around fifty corners, there it sat, completely hiding the head board, resting upon the side rails.

We un-finagled the rope but we couldn't finagle it back so the mattress and box springs would fit right. The rope bed now sits in our daughters garage and we bought another antique bed that accommodated the mattress and box springs.

If it would've been up to me to decide, I would've thrown the mattress on the floor. Hell, I could sleep at night on that.

Main Entry: mat·tress
Pronunciation: \ˈma-trəs\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English materas, from Anglo-French, from Medieval Latin materacium, from Arabic maṭraḥ place where something is thrown
Date: 14th century

Now, back to finagling myself a job.