Winter's Bone

We watched "Winter's Bone" a couple of weeks ago. It's a small independent film (my favorite kind of film) and starred Jennifer Lawrence who was a Oscar nominee for best actress. I liked it alot and so did my wife which kind of surprised me.

One Eyed Bill

My grandfather would occasionally take cattle to be slaughtered for meat. The man he would take the cattle to was known to me as 'one eyed Bill' because that's what my grandfather called him. He wore an eye patch and since I was a little kid this intrigued me to no end. I remember grandfather telling me not to ask him why he had only one eye and where his other eye was. Of course my grandfather called him Bill when talking business with him.

I was around ten years old on my first trip to the slaughter house. I remember grandfather telling me that if I didn't want to watch, that it was okay and I could do something else around town while one eyed Bill did his work. I felt a mixture of excitement and dread but I wanted to see it.

I was seated in a chair to the side of the cement killing floor, a floor drain in the middle. I heard grandfather's truck backing up outside. The animal was stumbled out in a small pen made of wooden slats from floor to ceiling in the corner of the room. The animal somehow sensed something terrible was about to happen and was thrashing about, it's eyes wide and darting around so that you could see the whites.

I felt my face getting flush and my heart was pounding as one eyed Bill suddenly pulled a rifle up, holding it like a pistol with one hand. He was pushing a lever with his other hand that somehow squeezed the cow against the wall, making it easier for a clean shot to the head.

The rifle made a pop and the cow dropped. He opened the gate and pulled it's now lifeless body out in the middle of the killing floor. I felt a mixture of revulsion and fascination. My grandfather was now in the room leaning against the wall smoking. I could feel him watching me. Blood was coming out of the animal's mouth and ears.

One eyed Bill cut the cow's throat and blood gushed out finding the floor drain. He gutted it with a large machete like knife, cutting out the stomach, intestines, heart, and lungs from the rest of the body. In no time a big pink side of beef was hanging from a meat hook. After coming back that day I remember feeling exhausted as though I had done the work myself.

My grandfather asked if I were hungry because my grandmother was making hamburgers for supper.

Graffiti and Confetti

The car windshield had smears and she reached over to spray fluid and wipers. This slightly irritates me; who's driving this car anyway? Wife and I are going to pick up something quick to eat after the gym.

Last night I had an intense vivid dream. I'll blame it on the non-drowsy antihistamine I starting taking the other day.

I'm installing some sort of kit....a new kind of windshield washer kit to replace the old system on my truck. Someone says I'm going about it all wrong and besides, it works the same way as the old system anyway. This person is really upset over the way I'm doing it.

I look at my truck which is laying on it's side and this person is saying something about the wiper indicators don't line up and it's the reason the system doesn't work right. We have a heated argument and I take off running.

I'm running around my childhood neighborhood in a pouring rain. I look over my shoulder and there, running along side of me, is my niece. She's assuring me that I did the right thing with my truck and tells me to follow her.

I follow her to a beach house and the sky is drenched with sun. There are many small people dancing around and they're waiting for something to come ashore. They all have bags of confetti, throwing handfuls in the air. The confetti becomes animated and changes into all sorts of sparkling shapes. There are also little people drawing a colorful graffiti on a stilted beach house.

I can't help but laugh at the feeling of celebration. My niece tells me to follow her up the stairs of the beach house and then there are hundreds of people with us, among them are my brother, sister, other nieces, nephews, and my parents. I'm behind my mother, helping her up the stairs. My shirt sleeves are ballooned out because they're full of confetti.

My niece and I are in the beach house and she's showing me photographs of her mother and father. She wants me to help decide which ones we show at their funeral. All the photos don't look like photos but graphic representations of photos. Some look like crude M.C. Escher prints. 

I wake at 2:50am. That's were the dream ended. It's the most vivid, colorful dream I've had in a long time.

Summer White

Our living room is taking shape and we're almost through with the painting. The name of the paint is Summer White. A white by any other name smells like paint.

Enamel Wins

All day Sunday jazz streaming from the web and I'm off work sitting here in my sweats playing spider solitaire. I don't want to do anything because my barking sinuses, but there's plenty to do. The gallon of woodwork paint is sitting upstairs nagging at me. The paint brushes are feathering my conscience. Even the green cut in tape rasps at me. Will we never finish the damn living room?

I feel like ibuprofen and a nap, fall asleep while the 'Trane plays Aisha....no no... ibuprofen and a whispering TV golf announcer "That was a beautiful chip shot, but I would have used the 60 degree wedge instead." zzzzzzz. 

Ahh screw it, I'll go ahead and paint (while jazzing it up)

As Clear as Water

I had a dream last night. I told my wife about it this morning:


"I was in a sort of forested outdoor ampitheater and I was called that there was trouble and started running where I somehow knew where the trouble would be and came upon a correctional sergeant (who I know from work.) He said they were coming.

Several wolf-like animals were running towards us. We were protecting each other, back to back, fending off the wolf-like creatures. We ran and the scene around me had changed to the UK campus. I was walking up and down the aisles of the student center theater searching the faces of the people for someone I knew. It was somehow important that I find him or her.

The creatures appeared again and I ran and the scene changed again to our home in the early morning. I rushed in the back porch. There were clothes neatly laying on the floor and I knew they belonged to a couple who are close friends of my wife and I.

I heard Bruce snoring in the living room and then he came out fully dressed with a hat on. He seemed upset and asked where I had been, your wife has been crying. My wife appeared and asked what I had been doing all night.

I held out my shredded bloodied arms and said this is what. There was a slow deep growling sound coming from outside. The wolf-like creature was as big as my truck and was circling the deck around our back porch.

I woke up terrified and it was awhile before could get back to sleep. It was 2:38am."


My wife said with all the stuff going on with you at the prison I can see where that dream came from, It's as clear as water.

Alternative Minimalist Chanteuse

Jessica Lea Mayfield just put out a new CD. She's dark, sad, and mysterious. I can't figure why I like her music, and especially her voice..but I do. A twenty-one year old alternative minimalist chanteuse.

Jessica Lea Mayfield 'Our Hearts Are Wrong' 2011.

It Didn't Work

The first book of Timothy was a letter written by the Apostle Paul to Timothy regarding how to minister to the early Christian church of Ephesus. It was written about 64 AD and at that time Ephesus was the second largest city in the Roman Empire with a population of roughly 250,000.

I showed the following verses to wife today. She just rolled her eyes at me and said "Yeah, right."

"¹¹ A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet."