October 10, 2008

The Blackberry Affair

On the way home a couple of days ago my blackberry slipped out of my holster on the van and when I got home I noticed it was gone. The next day I drove myself to work and emailed Robert and asked him if he had noticed an abandoned blackberry on the seat of the van. He replied yes and I told him I would pick it up in the morning. When I arrived home that day Charlene, having forgotten that I had told her it was missing, said she had called me and a female voice answered. Charlene asked for me and the female voice said “who is this?” Charlene almost obediently replied, but then her native assertiveness kicked in, and she said “who is this?” Then Charlene remembered my missing blackberry.

On the van this morning Richard handed my blackberry back and I sat down next to Kevin (female). She told me that she was the one who answered my blackberry yesterday and when she got Charlene’s strident reply, she realized it was my wife and then back-pedaled and told Charlene she rode on the van pool with me and so on and so forth. Almost everyone on the van had a different scenario in the way Kevin could have answered the phone.

(In a smoky sexy voice) “Hellooo, who is this? Barry’s married? He never told me that!”

(In a man’s effeminate voice) “Hi, who’s this…Barry’s married? (squeals) He never told me that!

“Herro….I sorry, you have rong numba”

(In a threatening gangster voice) “Hey lady, put 10,000 dollars in unmarked bills in a brown paper sack and place it beside the light post in parking section Matthew at Southeast Christian Church or your husband sleeps wit da fishes.”

“Pizza Hut, home of the stuffed crust pizza. May I help you?”

It went on and on and put some big laughs in our Friday morning van ride to work and was a welcome relief from the usual talk about the endless electioneering and the dreary economy.

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