July 30, 2009


While sitting on the porch we saw the mean old lady looking at us from her darkened house. That night wife had a dream that the mean old lady shot her in the arm but she knew the shot was meant for her head, and she had missed. I think the mean old lady has become a bit mentally unhinged;

One sandwich shy of a picnic
A screw loose somewhere
The porch light is on, but no one’s home
Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top
Not playing with a full deck
One beer shy of a six pack
The Happy Meal is missing the toy
The ramekin is only half full of crème brulee
A couple of sentences short of a paragraph
A half pint short of a gallon
The hamster fell off the wheel
Two kilograms shy of a metric ton

I shouldn’t be flippant and cruel about mental illness, bless her cobwebbed crusty heart. The privacy fence building begins soon.


  1. The standard procedure for dealing w/ annoying neighbors is stocking your yard with a half dozen big dogs... and maybe giving the old lady a few stray cats.

  2. You forgot CCFCCP. (coo coo for cocoa puffs)