May 28, 2008

The Feminine Side Of Traffic Court

It was that time again; it was time to see da judge for my speeding ticket and to my surprize and relief it wasn't the same judge I had last time. This judge was female, about forty years old, and rather attractive to boot. She said she got pulled over by the police on the way to court so she "knew how each of us felt". I didn't believe it, but it had it's desired effect as there were a few yuks from the unfortunate. I thought one of the sheriffs was gonna bust a gut, laughing so hard, I thought he may have had a drink or two before court began.

One of the sheriffs lines us up in the chairs according to last names. To my surprize most of the people plead not guilty. There was one guy who was Russian and couldn't speak English very well. There were so many fricatives coming out of his mouth I thought he might leave a wet spot on the carpet in front of him. Judge Judy assigns him a Russian interpreter for downtown court. He's concerned about the cost of that and Judy says it will be a free service. I thought at least he'll get a little more value out of his 129 dollar court costs.

The court clerk calls "Barry McClain". I stride up the the microphone and a silly thought goes through my head to do some sort of lounge lizard act and croon 'not guilty' into the microphone like Frank Sinatra. I resist. My court date is July 9th downtown. I think since I have to take the day off anyway that I'll just take that day and ride with Ben on patrol. It would be a good opportunity since I haven't done it yet.

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